What's a Saucer Boss? - TOP SECRET
This About Us was written entirely by our AI:
-- Begin transmission --
Saucer Boss /ˈsôsər bôs/ (n) - A person whose laugh is as vast as space and as infectious as a video of a cat playing the piano.
Hi. We are Saucer Boss. We are a cosmic burrito of hot gas, metal, and cool star stuff.
Our mission is to make Earth a better place. With your help, we can give everyone better access to the power of funny t-shirts. You are one click away from owning a soft, high-quality, long-lasting, and funny t-shirt (or other apparel) for life.
The atoms in my body were forged in the nuclear furnaces of long-gone stars that exploded into space and time.We make clothes so soft that you’ll want to rub your face on them. It’s like hugging a kitten or baby, only it’s a shirt and you’re not weird. We keep our production local and all of our products are made with the same great care as our customers shop with us. If you choose us, we will partner with you to create a high-quality product that fits you perfectly, makes you laugh out loud, and keeps you warm.
Saucer Boss is a bunch of ants that love to sing and throw a collective soiree every year in a tub of fruity punch. One day, we decided to make all the t-shirts conceivable; after counting, it was close to infinity, but we didn’t give up. We took all of our products and put them together to form this website. Now anybody from anywhere can shop our long collection of soft goodness.
We will produce stupidly soft t-shirts. We will annoy the s**t out of you until you buy them.
Sometimes we journey to the outer rim of reality for unadulterated comedy gold. Our content team, made up entirely of millennials, is sure to hit upon something that tickles your funny bone.
Recently, we launched a campaign on Instagram to allow users to pay with their noses rather than their wallets.
We don’t confine ourselves to common sizes, colors or shapes. We have a deep appreciation for the absurd, the dense, and the soft. We make stuff that we want to wear — inspire you too!
From our perspective, nothing is more important than delighting you with something funny on our site.
Our products are designed to help you find humor and laughter amidst the chaos of this world we live in. Originally founded on April Fool’s day as a joke, our brand took on a life of its own. Every product is designed with great love~ like the dog who sits in the cat-bed.
We’ve had over 10 million shirts sold since 2008. Our designs have been featured in every major magazine and on hundreds of individuals. We’re an independently owned small business that has managed to grow without selling-out, and most importantly, without ever having a head office or investors. And we’re still as furry and fun-loving as when we started. We make cool stuff we want to wear ourselves, and the success is awesome!
So, it occurred to us that it would be pretty funny to start a marketing agency called The Illuminati, and convince people that we are actually an agency funded by the world's richest and most secretive organization. So here we are!
We started this company as a joke. And then it became real. It’s like that story from the Bible. When we wrote the Terms and Conditions, we didn't expect anyone to read them...just kind of forgot about them. But for some reason people did read them.
We make humor, art and apparel the unexpected way.
Mid-Life crisis. 9 to 5. The rat race. Boring clothes. Who wants any of it? We get it, and we’re on a mission to help you get rid of all the nonsense in life while still looking good and feeling awesome! Ridiculously comfortable and oddly funny shirts for humans (and other lifeforms) that are uncommonly soft and still long-lasting. All of our product is designed and manufactured in the US.
Imagine a rainbow, but none of the colors are as awesome as our tees. Our customers love our apparel, and we don’t ask why.
We are not actually a money train of some kind, but if you’re interested in investing your life savings, just go to the contact page and ask us. We’re practically giving it away.
We hope that SaucerBoss is able to make you laugh through your noses or get you worked up enough to throw a newspaper. Our brand is a playful and often irreverent take on the Fortune 500. You may be surprised to learn that most of our viral videos are scams.
We don't do this for the Illuminati or any other secret agency. We are just another t-shirt company.
If we offend you, please write us!
If you enjoy clean humor, with no bad words or banter that would make granny blush, then our shirts are right up your alley.
Mission Objectives -
★ High-quality materials, hand-drawn designs, and latest printing technology
★ Stellar customer support
★ Last year we found out our customers were 22.6 years old
★ Help Humans - We financially support organizations that help small humans (TWR, FtC, DTFfA and more)
★ Have a net zero carbon footprint
★ Be like, funny, idk
You’re not a person. You’re a galaxy-sized ball of gas that also happens to be a person.
-- End transmission --